Fanning the Flames

I have been working on this story on and off for about ten years now, which kind of blows my mind.  Over those years, I've had bursts of explosive passion and progress.  I've also experienced months, even years at a time, where my passion for writing was little more than a warm pile of ash.  Lately, I've had a pretty steady flame going.  And this week I finally finished the second draft, and I'm passing it on to some intrepid reviewers for feedback.  It's exciting, but also a little scary.

Tonight at the Inn my friend Lisa excitedly told some guests about getting to review my book.  The guest proceeded to ask questions and showed so much interest that I gave him a copy to take home and we're going to keep in touch.  He has already been helpful, and I can't wait to hear his opinion!  He and I had been talking earlier about how important it is to have people in your life who encourage and uplift you.  We never know when or where those people will appear, so we have to always be on the look-out for them.  Thanks to everyone who has encouraged and supported me in this endeavor, I'm blessed to have you with me on this journey.

"Set your life on fire.  Seek those who fan your flames."  -Rumi

The Beauty of the Past

I am jealous of my main character.  

For those of you unfamiliar with my story, she can see the past.  And in a city like St. Augustine, this can be a very confusing gift.  For Alex, "it can be very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present."  (A little tribute to Edie Beale :)

This gift is sometimes unsettling, as many of the events of the past are not very pleasant.  Many battles were fought for this city- many lives taken.  There are dark secrets, grisly murders, and mysteries around every corner.  And yet there are also moments of overwhelming beauty in the past- like when the city was filled with orange groves, the the men were dapper and chivalrous, the women were elegant and refined, the Alcazar was an oppulent hotel, where they enjoyed the indoor pool in the afternoons and held concerts in the ballroom above.  There are stories of romance, honor, courageous deeds, and love.

Alex has access to all these events, though at first she is unaware of the power she possesses.  But for me, I am only able to imagine what it must have been like.  And yet, I suppose there is beauty in that too- in learning what we can from the past and telling our own story of it.

Creating a Story

I have been working on my book feverishly lately, and though it's taking me longer to finish the second draft than I'd anticipated, things are really coming together.  I've been thinking a lot lately about the creative process of writing- the way plot, motivation, characters, setting, mood, and so many other elements blend in a mystifying way.  It's a complicated process, and one I'm sure I'll spend the rest of my life trying to comprehend.  For though the story comes easily to me, the writing often does not.

There's a great description of writing my Mardi McConnochie that sums up perfectly the way I often feel:

"There is something tremendously exciting about this imaginary journey; for while the words remain unwritten, the idea in your head is perfect, pristine, an object whose apparent harmony of form disguises the technical mastery which lies beneath.  Once you begin, the whole thing starts to collapse, like that tower in Pisa which began tilting even as it was being constructed.  What was melodious, simple, and beautiful in the abstract is painfully disappointing in practice... what you end up with is always an approximation of the thing you originally envisaged.  But even so, there are moments where the prose sings and you know you've done something remarkable, and I suppose that's why you keep going."

As a writer, I live for those "moments," when events harmonize and converge, when life is breathed into a scene, when the right words trickle down through my fingers and onto the page.

Moon Over St. Aug

So we have had an especially beautiful moon lately, and when I saw this pic on fb I had to post it to the blog.  They say people act more strange during a full moon, but things have been pretty quiet here lately.

We also had a lunar eclipse on Saturday night,

which looked a little something like this --->

Absolutely incredible.  It looks even better shining over the water in the Matanzas Bay.

Confessions

After last nights' delicious and revealing dinner, I have been thinking this morning about confessions.  I found an incredible post online about a collaborative presentation by artist Candy Chang- in which she provided the opportunity for people to share their most secret desires, regrets, fears, and heartache in an anonymous way.  Collected voting-style, these plaques were then put on display side-by-side, and some that the artist found especially poignant she blew up on giant red canvases.  It's such an inspired concept, and I actually laughed (and even teared up a little) reading these extraordinarily honest and personal "confessions."

In the early stages of researching for my book, I read a lot from 'The Confessions of Saint Augustine,' the patron saint for whom our town is named.  He's a fascinating individual, who before his pious and philosophical life, engaged in a life of pride, greed, lust for power,and all manner of debauchery.  In 'Confessions,' he opens up about his sins, mistakes, his regrets, and ultimately his discovery of God and conversion to a righteous life.  It must have been terrifying to put his whole life, embarassing secrets and all, out there for the world to see.  And yet it liberated him in a way nothing else could have.

In my book, it is not only the secrets of a mysterious city that must come to light, but the secrets of these women who live seperate lives, side by side.  I have always been fascinated by human relationships- by the way what we share, and what we withhold, has the power to change those relationships in powerful and lasting ways.  It takes a lot of courage to confess our innermost thoughts and feelings.  Some confessions can change everything, and not always for the better.  But to live a guilt-ridden, unfulfilled, or isolated life- surely that's worse than facing the truth and moving on to the unknown?  Surely there are some secrets that when revealed, can remind us of our common humanity, and draw us closer together, some confessions that can empower us and help us to move forward in our lives.

p.s. even discovered a band called "Confessions of St. Augustine," not sure how I feel about their music, but I love their album cover and they seem like pretty cool guys.  Thoughts?

The Power of Words

I've been in love with words ever since I was a little girl.  I loved being read to as a child, snuggled up and listening with fascination.  And it's clear from old home movies that I loved to hear myself talk as well.  Some of those movies have become Stephens' family quotes :)  I wrote a blog post on this same topic a couple years ago.  As a writer, you'd think I'd be a very articulate person, and I do have my good moments.  But it is often very hard for me to find the "right" word for the thought/feeling/emotion/idea I'm trying to convey.

Tonight I got together with friends from my childhood.  And even though our lives have branched off in completely different directions, even though we haven't all been together at once in two years, all it ever takes is a few words and we are instantly reconnected to one another.  We each arrived tonight with different joys and challenges, and through the exchange of words, we were able to uplift, encourage, comfort, and inspire one another.

Sometimes a conversation can change your entire life.  The words we use can start a new friendship, open up a new opportunity, turn us down another road, reveal new insight, lead us to love, solve problems, build relationships, heal wounds, and teach.  What words have made a difference in your life?

The St. Augustine Experience

"We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." - Anais Nin

St. Augustine is such a unique and multi-faceted city.  As the "Nation's Oldest," we have our share of monuments, plaques, museums, and historical sites.  As a quaint, old-fashioned city by the sea, with horse-drawn carraiges, brick streets, and troubadours, we are certainly romantic and charming.  And of course, because of St. Augustine's tumultuous and mysterious past, we have plenty of paranormal experiences to go around.

One of the great challenges I've found during the course of writing this book, is to highlight each of these aspects of the St. Augustine experience.  And one way I've been able to do this is through the contrasting personalities of my main characters.

Alex has had several traumatizing experiences in St. Augustine, with many more to come.  Because her gift is to see the past, and St. Augustine's past can be very violent and mysterious, St. Augustine to her is often dark and frightening.

Sam, however, shelters herself from uncomfortable aspects of life.  A hopeless romantic, Sam is constantly orchestrating sentimental and sweet experiences for her guests.  To her, St. Augustine is a the most charming place in the world, the perfect place to fall in love.


Joe is restless, wild and rebellious.  Because Joe's gift is to see the future, she is constantly living in a youthful anticipation of things about to happen.  She lives her life with reckless abandon, determined to seek out St. Augustine's burgeoning bohemian underground movement.

But the truth is, St. Augustine is all of these things.  We see this city only through our own experience.  When we share those experiences- through storytelling, art, music, etc., we we get a more complete view of the truth.  Please share with me your experiences in St. Augustine...